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The Odyssey
'''The Odyssey '''is the thirteenth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired on January 19, 2019 and was written by Purple133. Transcript Yeah (Episode opens at the ESB castle) Sean: Oh Golf, it’s time to start the siege! Golf: Now? Why not wait until tonight? Sean: Hmmm. True. Well then we shall wait until tomorrow! (Camera cuts to Lock, Dan, Matchy, and SBCA who are playing Cards Against Humanity at Dan’s place) Dan: (whispering to Lock) Hey Lock, what did you play? I need to keep SBCA from winning. Lock: Calamity Eight. Dan: Thanks. (Dan chooses Calamity Eight) SBCA: COME ON LOCK AGAIN?! Dan: Yeah. He’s good. Matchy: So good right? (FDBackup appears outside and jump scares everyone) Matchy: SHIT! Dan: CALL THE POLICE! Lock: WHAT POLICE THIS IS THE 10th CENTURY. (FDBackup kicks down the door) SBCA: I payed money for that door! FDBackup: Ha! The vandalism continues! Dan: Oh hell no not again, not now. FDBackup: I know about your silly war, but I just don’t care! Lock: Hey FD, how would you like to live in a box? FDBackup: What? Lock: I don’t know. I forgot where I was going with that. (FD jumps out the window and vandalizes Dan’s house) Dan: I paid money for this place! FDBackup: Trolololoolol. Lock: Dan we should probably catch him since ya know ESB and Fanonland are legit about to go to war. Dan: True. Follow him! SBCA: Wait do I win? Dan: Yeah sure. SBCA: HA! Dan: WAIT. (Matchy pushes Lock and Dan outside) Dan: Let’s go. (Dan finds a random horse) Lock: Are we just gonna steak this horse? (Dan takes the horse) Dan: Yes. (Camera pans to Purps and Granite in ESB) Purps: Wait why are we back here? Granite: For a subplot to a show that’s slowly dying? Purps: Oh yeah. Granite: Well I think we gotta escape. Purps: (sees airships taking off) Look! Granite: THE WAR OH SHIT! Purps: What should we do? Granite: Get back and tell everyone to prep themselves! Purps: Then let’s go! (Purps and Granite start walking out of ESB territory when suddenly Sean appears) Sean: No! I will not have some pesky Fanonlandians disrupting my Invasion today thank you very much. Purps: Who are you? Sean: I’m Sean! I killed your leader? Purps: Really doesn’t ring a bell. Sean: Seriously? I thought that might’ve had some emotional impact that would eat you away until I was given the chance to kill you too! Purps: Why? Sean: Good question. Well um, I’ma best you in battle now. (Granite picks up a stick, throws it at Sean, and Sean trips over a rock sending him straight into a ravine) Sean: Damn youuuuuuuu! (Falling to the bottom) I had some epic fight planned and special one liners too! Purps: Whelp. Sucks to suck. Granite: That was surprisingly easy. Purps: Yeah considering this ravine is the only thing separating ESB and Fanonland. Granite: What do you think is down there? Purps: Dunno. Some crazy old crackpot told me about a mythical empire called FSB down there. Granite: Sounds dumb, now we just gotta cross this ravine, no issue. (Camera pans to Lock and Dan who are riding after FD on horseback) FDBackup: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE BITCHES! Dan: Wait, what happened to your no swearing rule? FDBackup: Seemed unnecessary. Lock: Can you just like stop running and let us put you in prison? (Everyone stops and both Dan and FD look at Lock like he’s an idiot) Lock: What? Dan: Sometimes I worry about you. Lock: And I worry about Matchy because he faps in class. (Matchy spontaneously appears) Matchy: Lock, I will FUCKING MUTE YOU THE OLD FASHION WAY. (Matchy holds up a knife) Lock: JESUS CHIRST! (Lock and Dan ride after FD who keeps throwing banana peels at them) Dan: Where do you keep getting these bananas from? FDBackup: My banana bag! (FD reaches into a backpack he has and pulls out a banana, and then camera pans to Purps and Granite) Purps: What if we build a bridge? Granite: How? Purps: Well there’s a long wood flagpost right here. Granite: Yeah let’s do it. (The two chip down the flagpost and Golf runs out) Golf: Gasp! How dare you dismantle ESB property as we prepare to invade and destroy your kingdom? Purps: We need to go home. Golf: I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. Purps: Well sucks to suck. (Granite throws a stick at Golf, but he catches it in between two fingers) Granite: But how? Golf: I’ve been training since our last battle boys. (Golf sprints up to Purps and punches him, sending him flying into the ravine) Granite: Purps! (Purps grabs onto the flagpole and stabs it into the wall of the ravine, holding himself just a few feet from Granite) Golf: See, you guys always underestimate me and now I’m the one who’s about to kick your ass. (Golf puts on a steel glove and smacks Granite) Granite: Wait, that’s unfair. Golf: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. (Camera pans to Dan and Lock, who are arresting FD) Dan: FDBackup, you have the right to remain silent. FDBackup: This is the 10th century in some alternate world like Earth. Lock: SHUT UP! FDBackup: Fine, arrest me. Just remember our truce okay? Dan: Sure. (Dan and Lock take FD to jail, and Golf is in a fight with Granite) Granite: I WILL USE MY FINAL SMASH! Golf: I have another truck up my sleeve. (A mega tv screen appears on top of a nearby building and “Overnight Success” starts playing) Granite: Noooooooo! (Purps swings up out of the ravine and throws the flagpole javelin style at the tv) Golf: Hey! That cost money! Purps: And so will this. (Purps punches Golf in the face and knocks some of his teeth out) Golf: OW! (Purps and Granite run for their lives, making it into Fanonland, and they see Princess Ponyo) Purps: Princess Ponyo! ESB is planning a siege! Granite: Yeah, yeah. Princess Ponyo: This is distressing news. We must stop it! When will it happen? Purps: Tomorrow? (A cannonball is fired at the castle and it breaks through a wall) Purps: Shit. (Episode ends)Category:Episodes Category:2019 Category:2019 Episodes Category:DanzxvFan8275 Category:Episodes written by DanzxvFan8275 Category:Rocky Lobster Category:Episodes written by Rocky Lobster Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:2019 Transcripts Category:SBFW Quest